It bit

Close encounter of the n-th degree

2007-05-08T04:39:00.000-07:00

The first alien to visit earth since the dawn of man, and what do I do?

Poke him with a stick!

Seriously, if anyone out there has any idea what this is, I would like to know.

I showed this picture to a marine biologist, but she didn't have a clue what it was.

It didn't squirm or scream when I poked it, so either it was dead or just pretending to be asleep so I would take my stick and go elsewhere...

It has proper organs and an ass in both ends, so it must be highly intelligent.

2007-05-08T04:33:00.001-07:00

Metal up all your asses

2007-05-08T04:23:00.000-07:00

A must-see documentary for all metal fans:

http://www.jonhs.net/freemovies/metal_headbangers_journey.htm

Enjoy :)

The sea creatures of Tasmania

2007-02-27T00:14:00.000-08:00

When you go to Tasmania you smell nothing but fresh fruit and meet nothing but friendly people. But beware; in the sea lives creatures unknown to man. Like this green seamonster who tried to pull me in with it's long tentacles...

Stop the thief!

2007-02-26T01:31:00.000-08:00

Some local junkie needed money for his next hit, and decided that my store looked like it could spare some sunglasses. Instead of just stealing a pair, this guy had the bright idea to take the whole lot. Problem was it was too heavy for him to carry , so the bright young man casually gets a trolly and off he goes. With a lot of sunglasses. Why didn't I stop him? Well, he had that camouflage jacket on, I didn't see him!

I don't get mad.

I get even....

Someone call the police

2006-11-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

Oh, never mind. I think it's too late.

I'm just glad i have a mobile phone :)

On fire!

2006-11-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I'v seen autum.
Five years I believe. It's not as bad as I remember.

Sure, it rains alot and the days get shorter and you know that winter is just around the corner, but it's kinda nice to put on a jacket when you go out. People start to get more keen on indoor activities and eating good food becomes an important thing. Going to concerts and movies and getting together at a friends house really helps.

Oh, and then there's the fantastic change of colours. All the trees (well, only the ones with leaves on them) suck up all the energy stored in the leaves and the pigments change colours to absorbe as much of the sunlight as they can.

I got home the other day and it looked as though my building was on fire.

It was only autum.

Stag night aftermath

2006-05-31T00:52:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine, Morten, just got married.
I didn't make it to his wedding (cause I had to work, yey) but I did make it to his stag night.

First we threw him out of an airplane, and then we drove him into the forest and up a mountain side and forced him to down a bottle of Vodka (he had his first drink at midnight, so we had to be a bit rough on him).

There was no stripper, but we had a big bondfire burning all night and everyone had a good time. At least until the next morning when we woke up outside hung over as hell with no water in sight. And most retarded of all was the groom.

Mission accomplished.

First blood

2006-05-31T00:43:00.000-07:00

Finally the bike season is here!

Now I can go screaming down the mountain sides and through the forest, scaring everything and anything off the path infront of me...

Except boomgates.

Hint, if you see one; hit the breaks!

Don't worry, the bike's OK :)

Everyday Festival

2006-05-11T03:44:00.000-07:00

Norwegians really wake up when the temperature rises, and Oslo is the place to be. Everyone's smiling and people even say hello to eachother.

The river that divides Oslo into east and west used to divide the people too (white snobs in the west and dark imigrant slum to the east), but now the people are merging all along the river bank. Having lots of parks, beers, music and sunshine helps of course.

This picture is from Sofienberg Park on a wednesday afternoon, just imagine what it's like on a saturday! It may look like we have some smog, but that's the combined smell of a hundred BBQs (and a doobie or two).

I can still hear the bongo drums...

Doctor, I have a Crab in my eye!

2006-05-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

I was island hopping in the Oslo fjord when we came across this huge Cod's head. My friend had to pick it up of course, and that's when we discovered that someone was living in the cod's ocular orbit.

He was all "Hey guys, I can eat my own house if i want. I think I'll stay in here all summer!"

No spring?

2006-05-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

Hey!

We just went from winter and straight to summer. No leaving the house in a T-shirt to later find out that it's just a bit too cold still. Just straight from wearing two shirts and a jackcet to wearing shorts. I can dig it.

(although the evil people at the weathercenter say a cold front is on it's way with snow for the north of Norway.)

It's funny that when you take a boat out on the fjord you never think "oh, I can't wait til this whole thing is frozen over and we can walk right here on the ice" (see previous post from february)

T-bone

2006-05-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

Saw this.

Made me laugh :)

What lovely eyes you have!

2006-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Ever seen a pupil anomaly like this before?

Ps. you can click on the images to make them bigger.

Norwegian BBQ

2006-04-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

So, it's way to cold to BBQ outside, and besides you have been out skiing or showeling snow all day anyway, and you just want to relax at home.

But, you still only bought hotdogs for dinner and you already have a fire burning in your livingroom.

What do you do? Have an indoor BBQ! If it gets to hot for your hand just wear a BBQ mitten!

Ahhh, the great indoors...

PeepHole

2006-03-31T02:56:00.000-08:00

How come you can only look through a peep hole one way? I should know this, I passed Optics.

Upgrade your gray matter...

2006-03-31T02:04:00.000-08:00

...cause one day it may matter!

Ever wanted to be a Jedi Knight? Ever wanted to use the force? Or are you just plain bored?

Then this is for you!

I just got a game called Polarity (see pic above) where you use the force (magnetic that is) to create caos on the board. The game requires some dexterity and some strategic planning abilities, but it's one of those games that takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master.

Wanna know more?

http://www.polaritygame.com/

As I was looking for a good game to buy I found out that AUSTRALIA was voted Game of the year 2006 by Games Magazine (that's like huge, if you'r a geek). I just wish they made one called Norway, I'd buy that!
Just put the 3 W's infront of this and you could be a ranger in Australia in the 1920s:

funagain.com/control/productaward/~award_type=GMMAG/~award_year=2006

Play more
Work less

Don't look down

2006-03-24T02:03:00.000-08:00

The nearest mountain to my house (which I can see from my livingroom window) is called Kolsås. Whenever I get visitors from overseas they have to take a mandatory trip to the top.

Hint: If you are planning to visit do so during the summer months 'cause climbing this in winter can be a bitch. But the view makes it all worth it (if you could only see through my fat head).

The Fallen Angel

2006-03-21T00:22:00.000-08:00

Ask me how it feels
To feel like you're a failure
When everything that's real
Burns the flame of anger
I've heard it all before
I've felt some pain and more
More than you could ever dream
More than it probably seems
I'v sat with head in hands
Stessed by my demands
Stomach tied in knots
Alone i sit and rot
Cause the pain from all these fears
Has built up all these years
But I just wipe away the tears
Wipe away the tears

Let me tell you how it feels
To feel like you're a failure
I'v been climbing out this gutter
For what seems like it's forever
But one thing i must make clear
The struggle of these years
Has made every scar the stronger
My lust for life the longer
I will fight for what i love
And i will fight for those i care
I will fight at anytime
And i will fight anywhere
With my heart aimed at the world
Destiny i watch unfurl
As i wipe away the tears
Wipe away the tears

(inspired by a shitty day and lyrics by Machine Head)

.......pointless

2006-03-17T00:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life seems pointless.

Like this morning when I thought I woke up before my alarmclock, but quickly realized I had forgot to set it. Being stuck at work for six days a week makes me think I would rather have a life than a living.

But then I think of my grandad who had to get up at five every morning to work the same job for 45 years. It makes me wanna suck it up and get my lazy ass through the day or...

Get an afterlife!

Snowga

2006-03-14T02:25:00.000-08:00

Be warned. If you do yoga in Vigelands Parken during a Norwegian winter night, and the sun rises, you will turn to stone!

(and then thousands of japanese tourists will take pictures of you in this degrading position)

Global Symposium

2006-03-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

I'm off to Athens (city of dusty old ruins, warm beer and hairy women) for the Global Symposium on Vision Correction. That's in April (7th-10th) so if any of my fellow optoms are going or know someone who's going, let me know ok?

Ada, you greek godess, if you know some cool places to go you gotta tell me...
(I'v been to Athens before, and I'v seen all the ruins)

Yey for Sovlaki!

The big everything

2006-03-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

In Australia people like big things. There's the big prawn, the big pineapple, the big mango and the big everything. I used to think that this was because Australians were small minded and needed to compensate some how, but then I figured it must be an influence from America.

Either way, this picture of a big banana (with snow on top) clears Australians of all suspicion of being small minded or Americanized 'cause if we have one in Norway that can't be the case. Norwegians (also known as mountain monkeys) are broad minded and not Americanized at all, no, no, no. We don't even have MacDonalds here!

Native Pokee

2006-03-13T04:04:00.000-08:00

In the north of Norway live the native people called the Same. They used to be nomads, following their reindeer around the desolate frozen tundra, and living in little tents. Much like the Native Americans.

After the introduction of alcohol and snowmobiles you can find these guys almost anywhere! This one I found on a gas station, playing a pokee machine! I know the picture is crap 'cause my stupid computer won't rotate it and you don't want to get to close to these guys with a camera (some crap about the camera stealing their soul, and they always carry a BIG-ass knife, for slaying raindeer or nosy city kids with cameras), but here is the evidence.

(For those of you who have never seen one before; it's the thing with the golden belt by the pokee macine, try turning your monitor on it's side. They carry the knife on the left side, so you can't see it in this pic, but it's there!)

Sunshine

2006-03-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the sun shines even in (Norway) winter, and then it's nice to walk on the Oslo fjord ice and dream of the times to come where you will be driving a boat in the same place.

It is actually possible to walk to many of the islands in the fjord. Just bring some Gilde kjøttpølser (norwegian hotdogs) and you have a bbq. Or strap on some skates and see if you can skate to Denmark (good luck).

Ah, fresh air.

Snowstorms

2006-03-08T03:41:00.000-08:00

This winter has been pretty tough for me so far. Coming straight from 40 degrees and Australian summer to a Norwegian snowstorm lasting for 2 weeks was NOT cool, no matter how low the temerature got!

This is a picture of my car, after just one hour in the parking lot. Imagine what it's like the next morning! You have to be prepared to dig for a good 30 minutes every morning. And trafic is caos. When the plow goes trough your street it plows your parked car in, and you have to dig for an extra 30 minutes.

It's enough to give me SDS (sesonal depression syndrome, no shit, you can google it)

Data Rock

2006-03-08T02:30:00.000-08:00

The first consert I went to in 2006 was Data Rock.

They are a really groovy Norwegian band, and they play electronic rock music with funny funny lyrics. They played in Brisbane the following weekend (lucky bastards).

It was a really bad snowstorm the night of the concert so I was freezing my ass of later when I had to walk to my car drenched in beer and sweat (yummy), but I ended up making 400 kroners (about AU$ 80) driving some desperatly cold out-of-towners about 500 metres.

Check out Data rock if you have a chance (they sing english, so you won't feel weird listening to them).

Wassap?

2006-03-08T02:21:00.000-08:00

OK, so what's this blog all about?

After living in Australia for 5 years (and in various other countries) I find it hard to keep in touch with all the amazing people I'v gotten to know over the years. So I decided to make a blog and try to keep everyone updated on wassap on this side of the planet.

Pls leave comments and tell me wassap in your life 2 ok?

What bit?

2006-03-08T01:22:00.000-08:00

It-bit-bilioden-boden-bob-bob-badidendaden-visla.

At least that's what my grandma used to say. She told me that if you learn this frase it's impossible to forget. And she was right.

In the beginning it's impossible to pronounce, but then it becomes impossible to forget.

Welcome to my updated and overrated life.